If I were to ever put a sign above my consulting room door it
would be "The Key to Self Esteem is to Act Like the Kind of Person You
Respect"! So often we let ourselves "get away with" behaviors that we're
not proud of. Behaviors that if our parents saw us doing, for example,
we would be ashamed. And even though it can be easy or fun to cut
corners, it creates in us low level guilt and shame that takes it's
toll. We "put up" with less than dignified or courteous or brave
behaviors in ourselves and so allow it when it comes from others. How
many parents swear and yet get angry when their children swear back? Do
we expect to be treated better than we treat others? There is an
expression, "We teach others how to treat us"!
What does "Respect" mean to you? Who is someone you know, knew, is in the movies, or is a historical figure that YOU respect? Why? What are his or her characteristics? What would he or she do in a frightening situation? How about in an argumentative one? Does this person swear? Is he or she a doormat? Is he or she honest?
In my case, the person I respected the most was my father. He was an Army Officer, a veteran of three wars, and yet the kindest man with integrity, honor, and humility. He treated all people with courtesy. He was also gentle with puppies and the other parent to my infant son. I never heard him swear. He never lied. And taking advantage of anyone was something absolutely foreign to him. Because of his conduct and character, I now have a 22 year old son who is sober, dignified, known for his kindness and courtesy, and a combat veteran. He's also funny and loving to his mother. Everyone he meets respects him even though he's so young.
In difficult situations I ask myself, "What would Dad do?" After my early years of "experimenting", I have become a person who is proud to call myself a "lady". I do not swear, lie, cheat, say awful things or name call in anger. I try to be brave, and I treat my fellow man with honesty. I treasure the word "integrity".
Interestingly, people rarely swear around me (in THIS world of no-holds-barred language), treat me with courtesy, honor me, and think of me with high regard.
How do you want to be seen and treated? When acting like the kind of person you respect you have a deep sense of pride. You don't carry guilt. And you don't put up with anyone who tries to treat you in a demeaning way. Inside you know you are one of the people who doesn't deserve disrespect. And you will not allow it!
So take some time and imagine. Imagine the finest person you can. A person you admire. A person who conducts him or her self with self control, self confidence, grace, honor, and pride. That's your role model - your imaginary mentor. See how your world and your self esteem changes!
What does "Respect" mean to you? Who is someone you know, knew, is in the movies, or is a historical figure that YOU respect? Why? What are his or her characteristics? What would he or she do in a frightening situation? How about in an argumentative one? Does this person swear? Is he or she a doormat? Is he or she honest?
In my case, the person I respected the most was my father. He was an Army Officer, a veteran of three wars, and yet the kindest man with integrity, honor, and humility. He treated all people with courtesy. He was also gentle with puppies and the other parent to my infant son. I never heard him swear. He never lied. And taking advantage of anyone was something absolutely foreign to him. Because of his conduct and character, I now have a 22 year old son who is sober, dignified, known for his kindness and courtesy, and a combat veteran. He's also funny and loving to his mother. Everyone he meets respects him even though he's so young.
In difficult situations I ask myself, "What would Dad do?" After my early years of "experimenting", I have become a person who is proud to call myself a "lady". I do not swear, lie, cheat, say awful things or name call in anger. I try to be brave, and I treat my fellow man with honesty. I treasure the word "integrity".
Interestingly, people rarely swear around me (in THIS world of no-holds-barred language), treat me with courtesy, honor me, and think of me with high regard.
How do you want to be seen and treated? When acting like the kind of person you respect you have a deep sense of pride. You don't carry guilt. And you don't put up with anyone who tries to treat you in a demeaning way. Inside you know you are one of the people who doesn't deserve disrespect. And you will not allow it!
So take some time and imagine. Imagine the finest person you can. A person you admire. A person who conducts him or her self with self control, self confidence, grace, honor, and pride. That's your role model - your imaginary mentor. See how your world and your self esteem changes!
Dr. Robin Aston
Effortless Success Hypnosis: http://www.EffortlessSuccessHypnosis.com
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Effortless Success Hypnosis: http://www.EffortlessSuccessHypnosis.com
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